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It’s almost the end of February and I finally have my first post of 2020! I’ve been doing the inner shadow work these past couple of months and honestly, it’s fucken tiring. How do normal people function after this? I’ve been doing a ton of thinking- like stay up till 5 a.m. thinking. Thoughts like…
how fucken powerful is your mind that it can tear you down at the same time build you up?
I think about authenticity and how I can show up for others.
I question my choices sometimes and I think a lot about the future (I’m a planner). I think about how I’m going to survive moving back to my hometown that I hate and how our lives will be more challenging because we will be living with my in-laws…
So many things on my mind lately. And it is so fucken overwhelming most days. That’s why I go back to my ONE WORD GOAL of the year and that’s what I have to fall back on. I knew what my one-word of the year was going to be right away this year. My one-word for 2020 is: TRUST. That word has been challenging for me all of my life because a lot of people close to me hurt me when I was younger. So I grew up not trusting anyone, not even myself. It wasn’t until I became a mother that I started to really open up again and learn how to trust again. Also, I’m a planner. I look forward to the future a lot and I guess having to trust that things will work out in the present is hard because you just live for the moment. I’m trying to be actively better at this whole “living in the moment” thing. So here are a few things I’ve been trying.
Meditating: I love to meditate- because it clears my mind so I can really focus my thoughts. I then jot down all the thoughts that I remember while meditating in a journal so I can come back to it at a later time.
Yoga: I’ve been taking these yoga classes and I enjoy it so much. I feel so rejuvenated after each session. I can’t believe how challenging yoga can actually be. It really makes me think about how strong my body really is and how I can connect both mind and body into a workout.
Journaling: I’ve also gotten back into journaling- paper and pen. I can really put down my true self on paper and can muster up the courage to be my authentic self after I’ve journaled. This has been a powerful self-care exercise that I have been enjoying.
Reviewing: So during Mercury Retrograde, I like to review my past- whether it be visiting my old home town with some friends or taking out the boxes of paper and going through them to see what I still need to hold on to and what no longer serves me purpose. I also do this with my closet and send what no longer serves me to ThredUP or Goodwill.
Take inventory of your life and see where you’re putting your energy towards. And remember that there are people in your life who need you to show up. And to balance that out, also let go of what does not serve you anymore and gently let them go. I hope you have a great 2020!!!