I remember a few years back before we had kids, I would pray each chance I got for God to bless us with children. To give us the responsibilities of becoming a parent. He answered my prayers with this awesome dude. Becoming a parent has taught me so much about the person I am and the human being I ought to be. Which brings me to this post about the important lesson I learned this past weekend.
We were back in our hometown for Easter weekend and so was everyone else in the family. That means, a full house with lots of little ones running around and screaming their butts off. It’s a lot of fun and it’s also hectic. Not everyone is going to get along and there’s that one kid who seems to always butt heads with the rest of the kids. That kid was my son, Anakin. Anakin has a great imagination and since he’s the oldest, he doesn’t quite understand his own strengths and how to play with others. Well, this lead to misunderstandings and on Saturday night, the other kids had enough and didn’t want to play with him anymore. I was sitting in the livingroom when he walked in quietly and stood there next to the coffee table and looked at the tv. One of his aunties asked him what was wrong and my husband said something along the lines of him not playing nice and being mean to the other kids. I then said, “Well… nobody likes playing with Darth Vader.” And this kid knows who Darth Vader is and knows that he’s a “bad guy”. When I said this, it set off a sequence of emotions that was too strong to be held inside, especially after being cast off into isolation from the gang. He ran over to me and angrily cried, hit me, and buried his face into my chest while crying hysterically. He was upset. Mad. Sad. Embarrassed.
What right did I have to say that to him for my own enjoyment? I have been in his shoes many times during my childhood where other kids didn’t like me simply because I was different or I didn’t agree with their views. I was bullied. I was the bully. And I should have been a better mother, person, human to my child in situations like this. When I scold him, what does it teach him? That its alright to bully? That it’s okay to be treated that way? What I should have done was to hug him and play with him when others wouldn’t.
After that fiasco, he went to bed with me with tears still in his eyes. I hugged him and told him that he was my favorite person in the whole world and that I’ll be his friend. I told him I loved him so much and he took a deep sigh and fell asleep.
I realized after that incident that my son is no longer a baby anymore and that he understands now what is going on with the world around him. He has feelings other than the usual happy, sad, mad. And I as a mother, must also learn how to help him express those emotions in a healthy way. This is new territory for the both of us and I couldn’t imagine walking through this journey with anyone else.
Thank you Anakin for teaching me how to be a better human.